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Animated Atrocities 75/Transcript
Mr. Enter: (Clip from "To Love a Patty) Wow! I should have done this one a long time ago. The only thing that kept this episode from being reviewed earlier were some worst episodes and some less uniquely bad episodes, because this episode is a special kind of bad. One that will get you remembered forever. You know it's kinda like The Room and Birdemic. If any episode could be pointed to as a definitive sign that Spongebob jumped the shark, this Love a Patty would be that episode. Because this is the kind of stuff you write when you don't care anymore, and think that anything will be acceptable. The plot is that Spongebob falls in love with a sandwich. That's really all I need to tell you to stay away. It's not a cute puppy love kinda thing either, its real and romantic. So without any further delays or a-do, lets tear this apart. The episode starts with Spongebob singing off-key. Never start an episode with off-key singing. Unless the episode is a musical and this one debatably isn't, you shouldn't start an episode with singing anyway. Spongebob: '♪Someday, I'm going to make you sweetie. Not overtly, but sur-rep-titious-ly.♪ ('Caption appears: Surreptitious - secretly. He's either singing about the patties, or he's already a giant creeper.) Mr. Enter: ''' You can exactly do something stealthy, if your job is to do that thing. What baffles me here is that they clearly know what that word means and are almost intentionally misusing it. Also, Spongebob can tell the sex of each Krabby Patty. I don't wanna know how that works. '''Spongebob: '''In all my years of fry cookery, I have never seen a group of patties. '''Mr. Enter: Oh good, you finally passed Jim; about a dozen episodes after his first appearance. Spongebob essentially has a love at first sight meeting with one of them, who he dubs Patty. And because he doesn't want the sandwich to get eaten, he hides it behind his back. Actually the problem here is that Spongebob doesn't seem to feel enough for the patty. He's afraid that the patty is going to get eaten but the patty wasn't personified enough to translate that emotion to the audience. What we see is a typical sandwich about to get eaten and Spongebob acting like an idiot and completely against his job, which is pretty much his purpose in life at this point. (Captions appear: It has a face.... big deal. He makes Krabby Patties with faces all the time.) 'Giving more identity to the object is typically how these stories usually go, but here it's completely out of left field that Spongebob cares about a patty enough to not have it eaten. And that's an accomplishment in bad writing. Squidward suggest that Spongebob take the Krabby Patty on a date and so he does. Also, a random joke about a grilled shoe that doesn't make any sense. Spongebob is clearly wearing both of his shoes, he wasn't in any particular rush, he hadn't forgotten the pickles recently, and the shoe is fried, not grilled. '''Spongebob: (Captions appear: I thought any harm that happens to the Krusty Hat causes Spongebob to spaz out) (He overreacted to the fire that was caused by the hat, not the hat itself.) '''Oh, Patty, when we're together, I feel like we're in our own little world like, like-- nothing can hurt us. '''Mr. Enter: (Clip from "Gone") '''You know they did this better in a later episode: "Gone." Spongebob was beginning to put character into inanimate objects because virtually everyone in his life disappeared, and he was going insane. ('Clip from...) Maybe if Spongebob breathed in too many fumes or hit his head or something, this episode would make some semblance of sense, but no. Eventually, Patrick comes over and asked to be tied up in knots. Yeah, th-the jokes in this episode, they-they really don't make much sense. They're too focused on writing romance. Which is weird because this show isn't known for romance. Even their Valentine's Day special, didn't really have any romance. And when they do have romance, it's often reserved for side characters because...well I suppose I should bring this up. Stephen Hillenburg has said that Spongebob is essentially asexual. Meaning that he is incapable of feeling romantic attraction to anyone of either gender. (Captions appears: Yes I know that's essentially what being "aromantic" is. I don't think you'll find much sexual interest in kids' shows.) '''Now, I won't get into a debate on how much that matters because the argument is lengthy, and some creators are the only people who should touch their creation and some creators are the only people who '''shouldn't touch their creation. But I will say this: it does feel insult to the original vision. Romance is extremely hard to write well beyond the superficial stuff, which is why I tend to hate most romance stories. And when you do a strange romance like this, you need to be a god-damn expert to make it seem like you're not trying to release your own fetishes. Yeah, the only episode that feels more like a fetish story than this is probably "Squid Baby." The only way that I think the story could ever work, is if was clear that Spongebob thought that the Krabby Patty was completely sentient. Like, Spongebob slowly began to think that is was alive or something. This is one of the few that Plankton should have been in, that he wasn't. Either way, it's not much as an excuse for Spongebob to be a total dick to his friends. Bringing the previous point back, we've never seen Spongebob remotely have any romantic interest that wasn't a stupid joke to be creepy. So his behavior just seems completely out-of-character on every level, especially because he is the person who should most-of-all know the purpose of a Krabby Patty! Patrick: 'I've been replaced by a sandwich! '''Mr. Enter: '('''Clip from "The Card" his 2nd most hated Patrick's a Prick Episode) '''Mmmm, '''good. Patrick: (Clip from...) '''Maybe I could meet a lovely sandwich of my own. Yeah, that'll show SpongeBob. '''Mr. Enter: Is the episode trying to satirize itself? I don't get it. Trivia- Patrick: I've been replaced by a sandwich! (cut to a clip from The Card) Mr. Enter: Hmmmm, good! Category:Season 3 Category:Transcripts